...as told by Paco.
Uncle
Mel
The
history of our family starts
with the birth of my dad, Melchor Rodriguez Garcia, in Alhama de
Almeria, Spain on March 6, 1907. Mel was to be the oldest of
three siblings. His younger brother was named Paco and we believe
he was born on February 29, 1908 (it had to have been a leap
year.) His younger sister was named Maria Teresa.
When he went back to Spain two years later, on his new Spanish passport dated June 28, 1935 his marital status changed from Single to Married. He arrived in Spain on August 13, 1935 in Barcelona and returned to New York ten months later on July 3, 1936 (a mere 13 days before the outbreak of the Spanish Civil War.) I could use some help on this previous marriage. Here's what I've gathered:
The story's been related to me thus: Mel and Anna had a son and named him Melchor. She left Mel and moved upstate with the first little Mel. The baby somehow drowned. On March 27, 1939, Mel had the marriage annulled in Manhattan on the basis of abandonment. (This comes from a 1984 Spanish translation of my parent's marriage license plus from Maria's interviewing cousin Lola in Sacramento.)
Did all of this happen before the long 1935 trip to Spain? Did she go with him? I've looked for marriage certificates, divorce papers, or photos but still no luck.
On July 19, 1936, the Spanish Civil War broke out. The Spanish Army fought to overthrow the government with the help of the Fascist powers, Germany and Italy. The Spanish Navy and Air Force remained loyal to the government. In 1937, Mel decided to train to become a pilot. His flying career was cut short after he went into a stall during a lesson and barely escaped with his life.
In 1936, on a summer day at Coney Island, two teen aged girls were playing catch and Mel was struck by the ball. (Mary had gone to the beach with her friend Josephine Carbonelli and Casilda Rodriguez.) When Josephine asked for the ball back, Mel refused to give it to her because she was Italian. She introduced her friend, Mary, who was Spanish. It turned out that Mary's family was from the same tiny town in Spain, Alhama de Almeria.
Aunt Mary
Mary was born on December 10, 1921 in her parents' house at 33 Troy Avenue in Brooklyn. Later they moved to 24 St. Mark's Avenue in Brooklyn. Her parents ran a boarding house for Spanish immigrants. The tenants were primarily men from Spain who would work and save and send money home to their families until they had enough to bring their families to America.
Mary
attended
Saint Augustine's Elementary School and Bishop McDonnell
High School. Neither school exists today. Until she
went to
Hunter College for the first time in 1940, she had never crossed the
Hudson River to Manhattan.
Mary & Mel
Needless to say, our grandparents were a little concerned about the budding romance between 14 year old Mary and 28 year old Mel. Until they were married, they were never without a chaperone. So conditioned were they to this that on their honeymoon, they sent for Aunt Nancy, aged 10, because it just didn't seem right without her.
Mel was a Mason, and the Freemasons had philosphical differences with the Spanish Catholic church. When Mel and Mary were married, on June 23, 1940, they had two ceremonies. One was held in a Baptist Church and the other was a Masonic ceremony.
Oh yes, Mary graduated from Hunter College in February, 1946. She was quite pregnant at the time. In 1947 she taught French at the Escuela Salmeron and in 1950 she worked as a census taker.
After the war, Mel tried his hand at retailing, running a grocery store in Brooklyn named Royal Farms Supermarket. Mary did the bookkeeping. Mel decided that this wasn't for him and sold the store. (Click here for pictures.) Then, Mel entered a jobs training program to learn carpentry just in time for the largest home building boom in the nation's history. (Click here for pictures.) The program was written up in the newspaper. Somehow that didn't suit Mel either. Mel went back to what he knew best: restaurants.
On November 4, 1956, the family had a terrible car accident in Wading River on Long Island. Maria writes:
Little Mel was killed instantly and Abuelico succumbed to his injuries in the hospital. The crash made the newspapers (article1, article2). Mary was in a coma for six weeks and came out of it with amnesia, speaking only French. She did not learn of the death of her son even after she returned to Aunt Nancy's home months later. Finally, Aunt Gloria broke the news to Mary, sharing all of the sympathy cards with her. Mary was devastated.
Things were not back to some state of normalcy until I was born on May 21, 1959. (I'm writing this. I can say what I want.) By this time we were living at 483 Dean Street, Brooklyn 17, NY, had no car and my Dad was working at the 60 East Club in Manhattan. We would go out to Long Island on the railroad, leaving from the Atlantic Avenue terminal.
The 1960's.
In 1963, the lawsuits from the accident ended. My parents bought a two family house at 3889 Pratt Avenue in the Bronx, and they also bought a bungalow at 28 Waterville Drive, behind the big house in Sound Beach. (Finally, Mel would not have to live with Abuelica....) They also bought their first car since the 50's, a 1963 Dodge Dart 270 with a push button transmission.
Maria Teresa went to Saint Augustine's in Brooklyn just like my mom, and then to Hunter College High School in 9th grade. She was not thrilled about being in my Mom's school. Mercifully, they were never in the same class except one day that Mom substituted in Maria's class. Even still, Maria's Spanish teacher, Miss Jacqueline Wahl ratted out my sister whenever she messed up. Maria graduated in 1966, and went to City College of New York.
During the 60's, Belen and I became inseparable. While spending Christmas vacation over Aunt Nancy's house in 1964, Uncle Manny bought me a bag of peppermint candies with a small toy elf attached. The candies were forgetable, but the elf became Elfy, king of Elfland. Belen and I created this magical kingdom (bordered by Mogueland, where they do the Moguey dance). All of the male characters lived in the Bronx with me (they now all reside in Baltimore), and all of the female characters lived in Ridgefield Park. Elfy has accompanied me on every major event of my life. (It's a good thing that Uncle Manny didn't get me something bigger.)
My Dad got a job with TWA around 1966, and my family started to travel a lot. They took me to California in 1967, Greece in 1969 and Spain in 1969. The rest of the time they went places without me, shipping me off to Aunt Nancy's and Aunt Gloria's houses primarily. I also spent time in Schenectady with Uncle Mac and in the Big House with Aunt Millie and Uncle Chris. These were very special times.
I went to a progression of schools. King Tot Nursury School (1 yr), St. Joseph's Montessori School (3 yrs), Westchester Montessori School (1 yr.), PS 68 (1/2 yr.), PS 103 (1 1/2 yrs) and finally in the Fall of 1970, Mount Saint Michael (6 yrs.)
The 1970's
Mel and I had trouble communicating. It was tough bridging a gap of 52 years--for both of us. He was very proud of me and my academic achievements, but he had trouble saying it. I acted like a typical teen age dolt, and refused to spend time with him. I still regret this.
The 1980's
Maria, on the other hand would find love on the West Coast:
For three months, he lingered. My Mom accelerated her retirement so she could be with him. If there was a silver lining, it was that I came home frequently and spent a lot of time with him in the hospital, just talking (in Spanish). He couldn't speak, except with his eyes. At 2:15 PM, on March 4, 1984, just two days short of his 77th birthday, he died.
My Fall semester grades had gone to hell while Mel was in the hospital. After he died, he came to me in my dreams, every single night, with a single message, "Study". I ended up pulling straight A's in my final semester. In the greatest of ironies, the guest speakers at my graduation were the King and Queen of Spain. Along with my godparents Aunt Gloria and Uncle Pepe, Mom and I went up to shake their hands. Mom said, "Your father would have loved to have been here." I replied, "He was."
Maria's second son Peter was born May 1, 1985. Michael now had someone to boss around.
After working for over 30 years, Mary was retired, but alone. I lived at home the summer after graduation, but then moved out again for good. I would come to visit on week ends, and a few times she came to visit me at the apartment in Manhattan that Uncle Chris helped me find. Two summers later, on July 26, 1986, I married Tina and moved to Boston.
Faced with life in Sound Beach, Mom did what she knew best--she went traveling. She went to Spain, France, Portugal, Italy, Alaska, Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii, you name it. She went to Elder Hostels all over the US. She may not have had Mel, but she still had life.
The 1990's
On February 14, 1990, I got fired from my job with the Seiler Corporation, the company that had moved us to Baltimore. Tina and I started our company, SAGE, in May 1990. New city, new baby, big house, mortgage--there weren't a lot of choices. Fate smiled on us (as did the effect of a lot of hard work) and the company thrived. So did our family. The 1990's were the era of the growing family and the growing company. After Mila, we had Julia in 1991, Michelle in 1993 and Christopher in 1995.
As time went on, Mom got progressively older and less able to take care of her house in Long Island. She found neighbors to do the chores and to take her places. It was clear that someday, she would have to move. In February, 2002 she moved to Roland Park Place, an Independent Living Community in Baltimore less than a mile from my house.
Less than a year later, on October 22, 2012, Mary passed away after a brief illness. You can write that, but it was the worst, longest ten days of our lives. She was buried at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Long Island with her husband, son, mother and father.
Mary made a huge impact on all of our lives. We miss her tremendously.
 |
 |
| Uncle
Mel's Father, Melchor
Rodríguez Garcia |
Uncle
Mel's Mother, Maria Teresa
Garcia Picón |
| Do any of these names ring a
bell? (For Another Picture of Uncle Mel's Parents, Click Here) On October 27, 1920, Melchor was sent off to boarding school in France when he was 13 years old. He went to the Lycee de Foix for 2 years. We still have his report cards and school books from the experience. At the age of 19, he took a boat, La Bourdonnais from Vigo, Spain, to New York, arriving on May 20, 1926. He was met at the gate at Ellis Island by his cousin Manuel Leiva Ortega, known affectionately as "El Lico". The two were to remain close for almost 60 years. |
 |
 |
On December 23, 1925, Mel was
drafted into the Spanish Navy.
He
was scheduled to be inducted the first Sunday in May, 1926.
Instead, he came to America. In
fact, I have a book from the Spanish Navy that he had to present to the
Spanish Consulate in New York every year from December 1927 to March
1937 to prove
that he was living out of the country. Mel changed jobs a lot. In 1927, he worked at Borden's Dairy. He worked at Child's Restaurant, Janssen's Hofbrau Haus, and others. He was very proud of saying that he never missed a day of work during the Depression. Here's a picture of him at DuBrow's much later with Uncle Chris. In 1929, Mel married a Polish woman named Anna Swierupski. Anna was from Long Island and was previously married (to George Alsheimer) with four children. The records do not show her divorcing George. He dies in 1936. She dies in 1979 and is buried with George in Long Island. (Thanks to my daughter Michelle for this research.) He went back to Spain for the first time in 1933. On his Spanish passport, dated 1/28/33 he was listed as single. He took the S.S. Rochambeau of the French Line in March of 1933. While in Spain, he received his green card from the US Consulate in Malaga on September 14, 1933. His green card says he arrived back in New York, November 13, 1933. Apparently, back then, if you travelled internationally, it was not a short trip. |
When he went back to Spain two years later, on his new Spanish passport dated June 28, 1935 his marital status changed from Single to Married. He arrived in Spain on August 13, 1935 in Barcelona and returned to New York ten months later on July 3, 1936 (a mere 13 days before the outbreak of the Spanish Civil War.) I could use some help on this previous marriage. Here's what I've gathered:
The story's been related to me thus: Mel and Anna had a son and named him Melchor. She left Mel and moved upstate with the first little Mel. The baby somehow drowned. On March 27, 1939, Mel had the marriage annulled in Manhattan on the basis of abandonment. (This comes from a 1984 Spanish translation of my parent's marriage license plus from Maria's interviewing cousin Lola in Sacramento.)
Did all of this happen before the long 1935 trip to Spain? Did she go with him? I've looked for marriage certificates, divorce papers, or photos but still no luck.
On July 19, 1936, the Spanish Civil War broke out. The Spanish Army fought to overthrow the government with the help of the Fascist powers, Germany and Italy. The Spanish Navy and Air Force remained loyal to the government. In 1937, Mel decided to train to become a pilot. His flying career was cut short after he went into a stall during a lesson and barely escaped with his life.
In 1936, on a summer day at Coney Island, two teen aged girls were playing catch and Mel was struck by the ball. (Mary had gone to the beach with her friend Josephine Carbonelli and Casilda Rodriguez.) When Josephine asked for the ball back, Mel refused to give it to her because she was Italian. She introduced her friend, Mary, who was Spanish. It turned out that Mary's family was from the same tiny town in Spain, Alhama de Almeria.
 |
 |
| What
Mary Saw in Mel, Coney Island,
1936 |
Mel
saved these tickets from their
first date |
Aunt Mary
Mary was born on December 10, 1921 in her parents' house at 33 Troy Avenue in Brooklyn. Later they moved to 24 St. Mark's Avenue in Brooklyn. Her parents ran a boarding house for Spanish immigrants. The tenants were primarily men from Spain who would work and save and send money home to their families until they had enough to bring their families to America.
| Mary loved to
read and to listen to the stories told by the men. She also
loved
to
spend time with her grandmother, Maria Mazo Rodriguez. She
would
frequently stay over her grandmother's apartment on Bergen Street
in Brooklyn (between 4th and 5th Avenues) and go to the movies together
at places like the Terminal Theater on 4th Avenue.
Her
grandmother spoke no English, and Mary would
translate
for her. (She was shushed by the other moviegoers.) Mary still talks about when her grandmother died of stomach cancer in 1936. She was laid out in Abuelica's house for the wake. Mary refused to go into the room for years afterwards. |
 Mary & Her
Grandmother in the
1920's
|
Mary & Mel
Needless to say, our grandparents were a little concerned about the budding romance between 14 year old Mary and 28 year old Mel. Until they were married, they were never without a chaperone. So conditioned were they to this that on their honeymoon, they sent for Aunt Nancy, aged 10, because it just didn't seem right without her.
Mel was a Mason, and the Freemasons had philosphical differences with the Spanish Catholic church. When Mel and Mary were married, on June 23, 1940, they had two ceremonies. One was held in a Baptist Church and the other was a Masonic ceremony.
| After
getting married, they lived
in a small apartment at One Lincoln Place. Within a year,
they
moved to an apartment across from her parents 15 Saint Mark's Avenue. Mary attended Hunter College in Manhattan while Mel worked. After a year and a half of marriage, Pearl Harbor was bombed and their world was turned upside down. |
 Their First Thanksgiving, with Grandma, Grandpa & Uncle Mac |
 |
Mel enlisted in the army. Because of his age, he was not sent overseas. He served as a cook in Army hospitals in upstate New York, notably Camp Upton. He became a sergeant. He was able to take advantage of his position to help send supplies home to Mary and her family. This helped with the wartime rationing. Mary lied about her age and signed up to be a censor, reading the mail being sent to Spanish and Portuguese speaking countries. On May 1, 1944, she was promoted to re-examiner, reviewing the work of other censors in her department. To this day (7/2004), she remains friends with the surviving members of her department at the Office of Censorship. |
| When the war ended, Mary and Mel did what everyone else did. They started a family. On May 28, 1946, they had a son whom they named Melchor. Little Mel, the first grandchild in the family was the apple of everyone's eye. Two years later, they had my sister, Maria Teresa on October 31, 1948. Still, none of the uncles and aunts were married and my brother and sister had them all to themselves. |  |
Oh yes, Mary graduated from Hunter College in February, 1946. She was quite pregnant at the time. In 1947 she taught French at the Escuela Salmeron and in 1950 she worked as a census taker.
 |
In 1951, at the invitation of her friend Maria Aguilera LoFrumento, Mary went to work at Hunter College High School teaching Spanish and French. (Over the years, she also taught World History, Economic Geography, and Latin.) She worked at Hunter continuously (except when hospitalized) until January 1984. (She is still friends with Maria LoFrumento, my sister's Godmother.) |
After the war, Mel tried his hand at retailing, running a grocery store in Brooklyn named Royal Farms Supermarket. Mary did the bookkeeping. Mel decided that this wasn't for him and sold the store. (Click here for pictures.) Then, Mel entered a jobs training program to learn carpentry just in time for the largest home building boom in the nation's history. (Click here for pictures.) The program was written up in the newspaper. Somehow that didn't suit Mel either. Mel went back to what he knew best: restaurants.
| In
the Summer of 1954, Mel and Mary moved to an English Tudor style house
at 114-40 127th St. in Ozone
Park, Queens. Maria writes: "We moved sometime
in the summer. We went to Sound Beach first then moving day came and we
went back to the city. By the time we got to Queens, it was dark. I had
nothing to do being an incompetent six year old. Across the street
there was a young girl about my age watching us move. We became fast
friends. Barbara Rosa, her parents Ene and Ernie Rosa and our folks
became fast friends. I was baptized that summer (so was Mel, after a
long battle with mom). If you want I can dig that info up. I was
baptized at Our Lady of Guadalupe on 14th street by Padre Lobo, the
only priest Papa ever respected.
"I had two wonderful
years of freedom and growth in Queens, even though the planes from
Idlewild seemed to land on our roof."
|
 |
 |
"We bought a car, a Chevy two toned, kind of orangey on the bottom with a cream top. The color combo was called cocoa-cream. So Mel and I called the car cocoacream and it stuck. I remember picking up the car at the showroom. We drove it out the front door, literally. Oh, it was a 1954 Chevy. It must have been early spring time." |
On November 4, 1956, the family had a terrible car accident in Wading River on Long Island. Maria writes:
|
"The accident was Sunday, November 4, 1956,
the weekend
after my birthday. We went out to Long Island to see Abuela
and
Abuelo. Did you know that was the first time Mel treated me
as an
equal and not a snivelling, whining little sister? We went down to the
beach and collected feathers and shells.
"It was my turn to ride in the front seat.
Mel asked to
take my turn. Because he had been nice to me that day, I let him. And
he died for it and I'm alive. God, what a story."
|
Little Mel was killed instantly and Abuelico succumbed to his injuries in the hospital. The crash made the newspapers (article1, article2). Mary was in a coma for six weeks and came out of it with amnesia, speaking only French. She did not learn of the death of her son even after she returned to Aunt Nancy's home months later. Finally, Aunt Gloria broke the news to Mary, sharing all of the sympathy cards with her. Mary was devastated.
Things were not back to some state of normalcy until I was born on May 21, 1959. (I'm writing this. I can say what I want.) By this time we were living at 483 Dean Street, Brooklyn 17, NY, had no car and my Dad was working at the 60 East Club in Manhattan. We would go out to Long Island on the railroad, leaving from the Atlantic Avenue terminal.
The 1960's.
| We started the 60's out living in
the
small apartment on Dean Street with my
sister and me sharing a room. Except for Uncle Mac, all of
the
other aunts and uncles lived in Brooklyn too in the early
60's. In June 1961, Mel returned to Spain for the first time since the Spanish Civil War. He was promptly arrested and imprisoned by the Guardia Civil in Madrid. He had been tried and convicted in absentia of the crime of "Masonry". Now a US citizen, he was released after an appeal by the American Embassy. I can remember going to the airport to see him return (to everyone's great relief) on a Pan Am flight. |
 |
In 1963, the lawsuits from the accident ended. My parents bought a two family house at 3889 Pratt Avenue in the Bronx, and they also bought a bungalow at 28 Waterville Drive, behind the big house in Sound Beach. (Finally, Mel would not have to live with Abuelica....) They also bought their first car since the 50's, a 1963 Dodge Dart 270 with a push button transmission.
Maria Teresa went to Saint Augustine's in Brooklyn just like my mom, and then to Hunter College High School in 9th grade. She was not thrilled about being in my Mom's school. Mercifully, they were never in the same class except one day that Mom substituted in Maria's class. Even still, Maria's Spanish teacher, Miss Jacqueline Wahl ratted out my sister whenever she messed up. Maria graduated in 1966, and went to City College of New York.
Check
Out the Neck Brace
|
The
60's really got into gear when my sister went to College. You
can
imagine what it was like during the era of the hippies, the Vietnam War
and the Generation Gap. Things came to a head when my mother
returned from Greece with
her now famous
broken neck, and Maria moved
out to take care of somebody's cats. Boy, did I hear about
this
for years to come. |
During the 60's, Belen and I became inseparable. While spending Christmas vacation over Aunt Nancy's house in 1964, Uncle Manny bought me a bag of peppermint candies with a small toy elf attached. The candies were forgetable, but the elf became Elfy, king of Elfland. Belen and I created this magical kingdom (bordered by Mogueland, where they do the Moguey dance). All of the male characters lived in the Bronx with me (they now all reside in Baltimore), and all of the female characters lived in Ridgefield Park. Elfy has accompanied me on every major event of my life. (It's a good thing that Uncle Manny didn't get me something bigger.)
My Dad got a job with TWA around 1966, and my family started to travel a lot. They took me to California in 1967, Greece in 1969 and Spain in 1969. The rest of the time they went places without me, shipping me off to Aunt Nancy's and Aunt Gloria's houses primarily. I also spent time in Schenectady with Uncle Mac and in the Big House with Aunt Millie and Uncle Chris. These were very special times.
I went to a progression of schools. King Tot Nursury School (1 yr), St. Joseph's Montessori School (3 yrs), Westchester Montessori School (1 yr.), PS 68 (1/2 yr.), PS 103 (1 1/2 yrs) and finally in the Fall of 1970, Mount Saint Michael (6 yrs.)
| In 1969, my Dad bought a 1968 Chevrolet Impala from a neighbor's widow in the Bronx. What a great car that was. We had the Impala until the 1980's, when we bought Aunt Gloria's Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. The Cutlass would be the last car Mel would ever own. |  |
The 1970's
| During the 1970's Maria moved to
Hackensack, New Jersey and lived with
a roommate, Lorraine Brenner. Lorraine became a part of the
family. In fact, when my Mom organized a trip to Amsterdam
&
Paris in 197_, Lorraine came with Mom, Cousin Gloria, and me.
We
had a blast, but my Mom would run us ragged with site seeing every
day. Maria and Lorraine were roomates until my sister moved
to
California June 1, 1979. Maria and Lorraine and their hippy friends would come to visit us in Long Island. She is fond of telling the story of the day they were playing frisbee on the Big House lawn and I burst out of the hedge in full military garb with helmet, and knocked the frisbee out of the air. I then proceded to shoot the downed frisbee at point blank range with my BB gun and ran away. Damned hippies... |
 Maria (in cool
daishiki),
Lorraine, Mom & Cousin Gloria, 1977
|
 |
My Dad retired from TWA in
1974. At age 67, he had had enough of
work. He did take advantage of his time with the airline to
go to
as many places as he could whenever he had time off, even when my Mom
was still working. He went to Israel (1972) & Egypt (1973)
, Japan (1972),
Argentina (1970), Germany (1971), Italy, Alaska (1972). |
 Real
Men Eat Migas: Sound
Beach circa 1975
|
You can't write about my Dad without talking about food. Years in the restaurants gave him a wealth of wonderful recipes, and I hope as I go through his things that I can find some of them. We've been working at recreating his famous Pollo al Ajillo. We also were very fond of his Migas con Gazpacho, Hungarian Goulash, Sausage Chow Mein, Grilled Skirt Steak, Sausage Stuffing, Natillas, Arroz con Leche...... you get the picture. |
| He also
went repeatedly to Spain
to see his family and plan for a possible retirement in the town where
he was
born. Unfortunately, he had a falling out with his brother,
and
his sister somehow managed to wangle her way to possession of most of
the family's extensive property holdings. Next, he had a
falling
out with her. During the summer of 1976, after graduating High School, I went to study in Madrid with Villanova University. At the end of the month, I met up with my family in Granada, and went with them in my father's new yellow Simca to Alhama. Was I ever bored! (It did not help that I had fallen in love (again) with an American girl in Madrid. I got a ride back to Madrid from Guillermo Rozas, Mom's cousin and left my folks in Alhama with the relatives. I'm sure that my Dad was not pleased. |
 |
Mel and I had trouble communicating. It was tough bridging a gap of 52 years--for both of us. He was very proud of me and my academic achievements, but he had trouble saying it. I acted like a typical teen age dolt, and refused to spend time with him. I still regret this.
The 1980's
Maria, on the other hand would find love on the West Coast:
| "My
father said I would never
marry. I believed him. When I moved to San Francisco, mom said I would
never meet someone marriageable. I didn’t believe
her. Did I prove them wrong! "I came to California June 1, 1979. "Avelino and I met Easter Sunday of 1980. Mom and Dad came for Easter week that year. They flew into San Francisco. After touring the bay area we went to Sacramento to visit Antonia and Lico. Manny, Lola’s son, had borrowed Uncle Joe’s truck and needed to return it and pick up his tiny sports car. I went with him. Ave was alone at the house with the dog, Sultan. He said he had been invited to Joe Jr.’s house for Easter dinner and invited us. At the time Joe was married to Barbara who had four sisters. I think Ave was glad I agreed because the family was always trying to fix him up with the sisters or cousins or whatever. We went there and had a good time. I remember that I was put in charge of the alcohol. So I proceeded find food coloring and color the drinks Easter pastels. We got home late and Manny and I got yelled at. "Barbara and Joe invited me to come visit them that summer to see the place they were having built. I did. Ave stopped by to borrow something, probably a rototiller. He had just moved into his new home. Needless to say, we hit it off. We started dating around Labor day, he proposed the weekend before Thanksgiving and we were married the following year, the Saturday after Easter, 1981.(April 25, 1981)" |
 |
| Mel aged quickly after
retiring. His hair quickly went grey. He
started
forgetting things. My parents bought a neighbor's house in
Sound
Beach expecting it to be their retirement
home. Maria's son Michael was born June 26, 1982. My Dad got to see his first grandson both in California and in New York. The only video images we have of Mel were taken on his visit to the West Coast. After Thanksgiving, in 1983, Mel had a massive stroke alone in Sound Beach. He was discovered by men coming to deliver an appliance. He was rushed to the hospital and stabilized. He was in terrible shape. |
 Melchor Rodriguez
and Nicolas
Rodriguez
|
For three months, he lingered. My Mom accelerated her retirement so she could be with him. If there was a silver lining, it was that I came home frequently and spent a lot of time with him in the hospital, just talking (in Spanish). He couldn't speak, except with his eyes. At 2:15 PM, on March 4, 1984, just two days short of his 77th birthday, he died.
My Fall semester grades had gone to hell while Mel was in the hospital. After he died, he came to me in my dreams, every single night, with a single message, "Study". I ended up pulling straight A's in my final semester. In the greatest of ironies, the guest speakers at my graduation were the King and Queen of Spain. Along with my godparents Aunt Gloria and Uncle Pepe, Mom and I went up to shake their hands. Mom said, "Your father would have loved to have been here." I replied, "He was."
Maria's second son Peter was born May 1, 1985. Michael now had someone to boss around.
After working for over 30 years, Mary was retired, but alone. I lived at home the summer after graduation, but then moved out again for good. I would come to visit on week ends, and a few times she came to visit me at the apartment in Manhattan that Uncle Chris helped me find. Two summers later, on July 26, 1986, I married Tina and moved to Boston.
Faced with life in Sound Beach, Mom did what she knew best--she went traveling. She went to Spain, France, Portugal, Italy, Alaska, Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii, you name it. She went to Elder Hostels all over the US. She may not have had Mel, but she still had life.
 |
In January 1989, Tina and I moved
to Baltimore from Brookline,
Massachusetts. On November 29, 1989, Mila was born.
Here's
Mila at 8 weeks with our first daughter, Cupie. The cat is
not
sure what to make of the small human. Cupie, the smartest feline ever to walk the planet, died in a house fire near Philadelphia in 1992 after waking up the man who was taking care of her, and saving his life. |
The 1990's
On February 14, 1990, I got fired from my job with the Seiler Corporation, the company that had moved us to Baltimore. Tina and I started our company, SAGE, in May 1990. New city, new baby, big house, mortgage--there weren't a lot of choices. Fate smiled on us (as did the effect of a lot of hard work) and the company thrived. So did our family. The 1990's were the era of the growing family and the growing company. After Mila, we had Julia in 1991, Michelle in 1993 and Christopher in 1995.
| The 2000's To celebrate the begining of the millenium, we took the kids to Spain. It was their first trip overseas and they had a great time. We rented apartments in Madrid and Sevilla, shopped in supermarkets, and lived like Spaniards. We were very very sad to leave. (I probably most of all.) In 2001, we went to Poland. In 2002, we went to Great Britain and France. In 2003, we went to Italy and saw the Pope. In 2005, we went to Mexico. In each place, we followed the same routine, renting an apartment and learning what it meant to live elsewhere. |
 Madrid 1999: Tina
and the kids the
night we got off the plane...
...Michelle is not pleased. |
As time went on, Mom got progressively older and less able to take care of her house in Long Island. She found neighbors to do the chores and to take her places. It was clear that someday, she would have to move. In February, 2002 she moved to Roland Park Place, an Independent Living Community in Baltimore less than a mile from my house.
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In December 2006, I took Mom to Madrid for a surprise 85th birthday visit. It was becoming obvious that she didn't have the stamina for travel any more, but she loved being there. Though her memory was failing, she remembered the trip for a long time. Here she is toasting with a chupito at Casa Botin. |
| On December 10, 2011, we celebrated Mom's 90th birthday at Roland Park Place. Her sisters came as did Maria's family. We had two roast suckling pigs. Again, she was thrilled. |  |
Less than a year later, on October 22, 2012, Mary passed away after a brief illness. You can write that, but it was the worst, longest ten days of our lives. She was buried at Holy Sepulchre Cemetery in Long Island with her husband, son, mother and father.
Mary made a huge impact on all of our lives. We miss her tremendously.